In many ways, the Parade reminds me of the Royal Futura. It has a similar shape and comes in different colors, though not as many as the Futura. I got the uninspiring beige & beige model. The Futura didn’t get a favorable review, despite my excitement about its design. It worked well enough, but for any long bouts of writing, just wasn’t up to snuff. The Parade is a better typer than the Futura, but it’s no Lettera.

The Parade is heavy. In fact, they put a sticker on the back that says, “Rugged Royal. All-metal structural design.” Typing in a coffee shop when a gun fight breaks out? No problemo, the Parade doubles as body armor. It’s that solid. Reminds me of some of the heftier models out of East Germany where they measured typewriter quotas in weight not quantity. Not only is the typewriter heavy, so is the carriage shift. Much more so than other ultra-portables. That’s my main gripe with the ultra-portable, most are carriage shifted. This is OK, since they’re small and light. But the Parade is chunky and loud. Even my wife came downstairs wondering why I was tenderizing meat so early in the morning. No, it’s this carriage shift! Whatever, just keep it down I’m on a Zoom call.

The keys and carriage work smoothly, but for a typewriter this solid, they feel flimsy and thin. The plastic shelled Lettera 31 feels sturdier. It’s like they used all the metal on the shell and didn’t have any leftovers for the guts. The Parade is good if your top typewriter is too big to haul to camp or coffee house and all you need is to dash off a few quick letters or a One Typed Page submission. Yeah, a Hermes Rocket would be mucho better, but if you’re on a budget, you should be able to snag a Parade for much less. It works. It’s small. It’s a decent typewriter, just not top of the class.

This spring I finally decided to find out. The flowers were blooming, the bees buzzing and the bunnies nibbling. What better time for a fresh look on a typewriter? Without the luxury of a local typewriter shop to take one for a free test drive, I’d have to drop the cash and order online.

Shipping typewriters always fills me with dread. Despite the most thoughtful packing, these are sensitive machines. Sure, in a much publicized PR stunt, Royal once dropped typewriters by parachute to show how well made there were. What wasn’t in the story, however, were reports of Royal ground crews stationed to swoop up those machines that landed on their sides. Typewriters don’t like getting jarred on their corners. If you’re shipping typewriters, be sure to put stickers labelled “This Side Up” on all four sides, plus if you can find them, ones that say, “Delicate Instruments”. Lastly, insist on shipping with FedEx. Their ground rates (Home Delivery) are economical and competitive with UPS or USPS. I’ve had zero issues with FedEx.

Once I got over my shipping hesitation, a seller popped up on my eBay recommended items feed. I’d had others in mind, but something about this guy spoke to me. His name was Don Nichols and he was selling a 1937 Royal Standard Portable “O” model. Not only were the images stunning, but he posted a YouTube video of it in action. Moreover, he offered a 90-day warranty! All the rubber was new, or nearly new. He called his operation, MechaNichol Restorations (eBay seller: nichols2389). Total cost was around $600. Ouch. I hovered over the Buy it Now button for two agonizing days, until I finally downed the martini and clicked it.

Since it shipped FedEx, I was able to re-route the delivery to a local FedEx Office print center for pick-up. Easy! Didn’t need to be home to sign for it and no issues of porch pirates snatching my bounty. I’ll spare you the unboxing video, but will mention that Don is a packing pro. Plenty of bubble in all the right places. And, here’s what separates Don from 99% of other packers, he uses painter’s tape to secure the sheets of bubble. Wrapping bubble in shipping tape creates an unpacking nightmare! Painter’s tape comes off easily, yet secures the wrap.

No worries so far. And enough shipping tips. Time for the test!

With the Royal typewriter unboxed and placed on the desk, a faint glow surrounded it. The birds stopped chirping. The wind died down. And a shaft of sunlight erupted through the window. Don got the black enamel to shine and the silvery metal parts to glisten. Under the hood looked new as well. Don disassembles every machine and does a thorough cleaning. I took pause and admired the look before rolling a sheet of paper under the platen. With the first few keystrokes, I knew this machine would sing. Fluid. Light. Crisp. Normally I’m not fond of carriage shifted typewriters, but this restored Royal lifted with ease. Moreover, the carriage return was free and easy and lacked any resistance. The more I typed, the more joy I felt. If a typewriter can transform your writing, a restored typewriter will transform your soul. It’s like being young again. This typewriter was fresh, spunky and full of spirit. Not like that tired soul whose been punted from estate sale, to resale shop to thrift store, with long bouts locked in a dark closet, its rubber hardening and keys gumming up. Sure it works, and you’ve probably been satisfied just getting unplugged, but if you want to sprout wings and really fly, a restored typewriter will take you on the next leg of your journey. Stop wondering if it’s worth the extra dough, go raid the coin jar, sell extra magazine subscriptions, busk with the ukulele, and get one pronto.

You’re a writer. Invest in yourself. Forgo the MacBook refresh, it’s that restored typewriter that’ll never need replacing.

You can find Don’s shop, MechaNichol Restorations, on eBay.

Also on eBay is pilot727. And Classic Vintage Typewriters.

Royal Futura 800 (1958)

If you were to judge a typewriter solely by its looks, then the Royal Futura 800 would be a winner. But when you start typing on this typewriter, it becomes quickly apparent that this is not the machine for the serious writer. However, what makes this typewriter unique is the typeface. It has a cool aesthetic that is whimsical and fun. The action is nice enough, just not real solid. It makes a hollow sort of sound, and does not fill you with confidence. Looking at the marketing materials, suggests that it was intended for the home user with only the occasional typing needs. And with a wide range of colors, the Royal Futura 800 is sure to fit with any home decor. It’s great to look at, but when you start banging out words, you’re left with an empty feeling. I’m not sure why it feels this way, since the typewriter feels solid and heavy and has the rugged Royal name. It’s a user-friendly machine, with clearly marked buttons for setting margins and columns. They’re labelled “Magic” as if there’s a little genie living inside your typewriter, ready to do your bidding. But the magic fades when you start typing. If your writing project is not too ambitious, then it’s a fine typewriter with loads of style. And again, that killer typeface! Way cool. That alone is worth the price.

If you want a solid typewriter that’s stylish and extremely easy to use, go with the Royal Quiet De Luxe. It’s American simplicity at its best. Everything about this typewriter is top notch. The typebars strike the platen with exceptional ease, making fast typing a breeze. Its black finish and chrome accent, mirror what writing is about, black words on white paper. This is a writer’s tool. Roll paper in platen, write. When you hit the end of a line and slide the carriage return lever, you’re met with a satisfying clicking sound. It’s a writing machine. The glass topped keys have a nice concavity, and with their smooth finish, you’ll find your fingers drawn to them day after day. They make you want to type. Like any well designed machine, the form is just as important as function. In the age of plastics, this keyboard feels real. It epitomizes what using a manual typewriter is all about, a connection with your words not found on a computer. And even in the world of manual typewriters, the glass topped key is king. You can find solid plastic keys, like on the Olympia SM-line, but there’s something more primal about metal and glass that speaks to the soul. Every time you sit down at this typewriter, you’ll be energized. And as the name suggests, this is a quiet machine, even with a rock hard, ancient platen.

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